Author: John Carter

Substance Abuse and Intimate Relationships

For both the addicted person and their partner, addressing mental health needs is essential for fostering a caring and supportive environment within their relationship. Many discussions surrounding addiction tend to focus on the physical and psychological effects of substance use. The effects of drug addiction, however, extend beyond these issues and also encompass a person’s social health and well-being. Social health refers to an individual’s relationships and the ability to maintain healthy, rewarding connections.

In any close relationship, people share important aspects of their life experience and who they are. As a result, it’s essential to consider sharing the fact that you are in recovery with those people with whom you are or would like to become emotionally close—assuming that they aren’t already aware of it. But, how do you know when to let others know that you’re in recovery from addiction? Many people have a lot of uncertainty about disclosing their status as a person in recovery in new relationships. Such relationships include new friends, co-workers, and romantic partners. Addiction does not just hurt the person who’s battling it; it affects all aspects of their life, including family, friends, and lovers.

Use Insurance to Start Treatment

This kind of relationship usually involves extreme physical or emotional dependency on the part of the addicted person. This dynamic can lead to the neglect of one’s own well-being, potentially resulting in depression, low self-esteem, health issues, and even the potential onset of a more serious mental illness. Addiction, particularly drug addiction, can wreak havoc on trust and communication within a relationship. Mood swings and irritability brought on by substance abuse can lead to tension, arguments, and even abuse. As the addicted person becomes more focused on their addiction, they may resort to lying to protect their partner from getting hurt or to feel free to use drugs without judgment.

Active SUD vs. relationships in recovery

Therefore, informing people to whom you are becoming close that you don’t drink alcohol or use other drugs—sooner rather than later—will help you avoid many risky situations. Getting involved in or maintaining a close relationship with anyone who regularly uses alcohol or other drugs, particularly in your presence, places you at considerable risk. There are different opinions on when and how to disclose your recovery status. Some people believe it’s important to be completely upfront and let others know that you are a person in recovery during your very first encounter.

How Substance Abuse Affects Relationships & Marriage

This can result in a lack of trust and communication, which can have a negative effect on the capacity for love in a relationship. Furthermore, the codependent relationship can act as an enabling influence in the addict’s life, perpetuating their addiction and destructive behaviors. To overcome these challenges, both partners must work together to improve their communication skills and create an open and honest environment in which they can express their feelings and needs. The addicted person may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation, while their loved ones and drug addicts around them may also be affected. While some relationships are based on circumstances over which you have little or no control, you do have choices in establishing relationships that provide support and nurture you.

1. Addicted individuals often struggle with this issue, as their primary focus becomes obtaining and using drugs or alcohol, rather than nurturing their relationships.
2. Our lover’s needs, feelings, and happiness become important to us, and we think about planning a future together.
3. Substance abuse is painful not only for the person going through addiction but also for the people around them.
4. By seeking professional help, participating in support groups, and committing to open communication and understanding, couples can overcome the challenges of addiction and forge a stronger, more fulfilling bond.
5. Ultimately, disclosing your recovery status to others is a very personal decision and the timing of it depends on a variety of factors.

How Addiction Impacts Relationships

Cultivating and maintaining supportive relationships takes time and energy. It requires effort, along with the strength and courage to step outside of one’s comfort zone. “They can also begin to rebuild trust with their partner through this process, which involves increasing transparency and honesty, as well as taking steps to build healthier behaviors,” she adds. Sex releases oxytocin, the love chemical that makes us want to nest with our partner. As we get to know our lover, we may want to spend more or less time together, depending on what we learn.

If the issues in the relationship are not treated, they can set the stage for continued conflict and, in turn, relapse to drinking or drug use. Thus, lasting recovery from substance use depends, in part, on making the relationship better. Eliminating drinking or drug use is only the starting point; once sobriety is attained, a supportive caring relationship can be one of the strongest factors in making that sobriety last.

It’s very common for loved ones to blame relationship distress on the addiction, and that idea is often reinforced by movies, recovery meetings, and even treatment providers. What about the ways that loved ones may be unintentionally making it more difficult for someone to stay sober? Those topics get much less attention, and people may feel guilty about even considering that their relationships have contributed to their substance use. But the truth is that relationships interact with addiction and recovery efforts in complicated ways, and exploring those interactions can lead to deeper self-understanding, healthier relationships, and more sustainable recovery. There is a large body of research showing that addiction can have negative impacts on relationships, and I have never met someone in recovery who was unaware that addiction hurts loved ones. Substance abuse and addiction can lead to misunderstandings, poor communication, personality changes, social detachment, emotional numbing, and dishonesty.

Ultimately, disclosing your recovery status to others is a very personal decision and the timing of it depends on a variety of factors. That being said, your most important priority needs to be protecting your recovery. This means taking care to not put yourself in situations where your recovery is likely to be at risk.

This Is a Temporary but Necessary Step

Twelve-step programs and other mutual-aid resources help serve this vital purpose. You may wish to seek inpatient or outpatient therapy for your relationship concerns. SAMSHA’s Find Treatment tool can help you locate individual, group, and couples’ therapy near you.

Alcohol and drugs can impair judgment, arouse feelings of anger and resentment, and create an atmosphere that leads to conflict at home. A loved one may find it too challenging to modify their behaviors as outlined in individual or family/couples’ counseling. They may begin to acknowledge that they are causing more harm to their significant other. Likewise, the person with an addiction may realize that continuing to be in this relationship is too destructive to the other person or themselves.

These changes can shatter trust and create a lot of negative emotional experiences in your relationships. Unfortunately, people with addiction are inclined to isolate, effectively cutting themselves off from the health-enhancing effects of social and emotional support. This support becomes even more important in early recovery when people are struggling to get used to life without using alcohol and other drugs. At this time, developing relationships that provide mutual support and connection is essential.