Author: John Carter

The Healing Power of Forgiveness in Recovery

Currently, Alisa is working towards a bachelor’s degree in psychology at California State University Fullerton, with the hopes of becoming a social worker. When not at work or school, Alisa enjoys fitness, watching the Boston Red Sox, salsa dancing, and spending time with family and friends. Anchored Tides Recovery’s Outpatient Program (OP) offers a flexible and supportive treatment option for women seeking ongoing recovery from addiction and mental health challenges. Our OP provides personalized therapy sessions, group counseling, and holistic support tailored to each individual’s needs. This program allows women to continue their daily activities and responsibilities while receiving the care and support necessary for sustained recovery. Staying in the past and feeling resentment and bitterness only make it more difficult to find happiness in life.

What Does Forgiveness Mean in Addiction Recovery?

Holding on to feelings of guilt andshame keeps us stuck in the past. Addicts generally have difficulty, especially in early recovery,coping with any feelings that we perceive as negative. Until you developappropriate coping skills, it can seem like your only option is to cover upthese feelings by returning to your addiction. Facing these feelings,correcting our wrongs, asking for forgiveness and forgiving ourselves are waysto let go of the past so you can grow as a person and fully live in the presentmoment. Once we have done this, the guilt and shame will be resolved so wedon’t feel the need to return to our old coping skills of using substances tocover these feelings. Thinking about your past addiction can be difficult, but it’s important to accept it and learn from it.

When we ignore our feelings of guilt and continue to do whatwe believe is wrong, we feel shame. Shame is when we internalize guilt andbegin to believe we are a bad person because we did something wrong and ignoredour feelings of guilt. The purpose of shame is to make us feel so bad that wetry to make right the wrongs we have committed. Ifothers discover the wrongs we have committed, our shame increases.

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Rather than feeling guilty about those past errors, remind yourself about what you learned and how you can use that knowledge and experience to guide your actions going forward. Forgiveness is so important in recovery, it’s a component of the 12 steps. In step 8, for instance, it’s recommended to write down a list of people you may have offended and make amends with them. This is also the time to work on forgiving yourself and others, allowing your mind and spirit to be free. Think of what the world will give back to you when you treat it with love and kindness.

As a result of my processing the wrong I committed, I decidethat I will work on being less selfish. I will think of others’ feelings and howthey will be affected by my actions. I make a conscious decision to bettermyself so I don’t commit this wrong again. The next time I think of stealingsomething, I remember how I processed the wrong and I choose not to steal anything.I have faced my wrong and taken action to correct it in the future. I makeevery attempt in life to stick to my value that stealing is wrong. Guilt and shame serve an important purpose in our lives.Guilt is that little twinge you feel when you are about to do something youknow is wrong.

  1. It’s the best way to break away from the constant weight of pain and anger.
  2. It’s easy to point out what’s going wrong in life, but taking the time to acknowledge positive things makes them all the more powerful.
  3. Bunny’s favorite activities are Lunch, DBT, and also sitting in on individual sessions.
  4. As a result, forgiveness provides a barrier between a person’s own and others’ offenses that happen throughout the day, creating a peaceful mental state that supports better sleep habits.
  5. The act of forgiveness can also positively impact your physical health.
  6. Guilt and shame becomes a vicious cycle that goes somethinglike this.

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Though you can’t change the past, you can learn from it and use it to avoid making mistakes in the future. In some cases, you may find it impossible to forgive another person. They may continue misusing substances or refuse to acknowledge the pain they inflicted upon you. In any case, it may take time for you to understand their disease. In the meantime, surrender the burden of hurt and continue to live your life. The word “amend” means to make minor changes, make better and improve.

Studies about regret after bad behavior don’t apply to the over-apologizer; such research involves situations in which one person did harm to another. When you feel like you are stumbling,recovery affirmationscan help you remember why you chose a path of sobriety. Landmark Recovery was founded with a determination to make addiction treatment accessible for all. Through our integrated treatment programs, we’ve helped thousands of people choose recovery over addiction and get back to life on their own terms.

Healthy Ways to Forgive Yourself in Recovery

Then, they were asked to picture this person in a forgiving light, imagining that they had made amends and moved on. It requires us to truly empathize and allow ourselves to forgive past mistakes that affected us directly. Forgiveness is a path to healing and serenity that begins and ends with compassion — for ourselves and for the loved one battling substance abuse. The fact that you took the courageous step to recognize your addiction and seek help means that deep down you realize that you are worth forgiving.

Forgiveness Improves Your Physical & Mental Health

I lead a healthy & holistic way of living that I enjoy sharing with others. If you scored between 64 and 86, you are showing forgiveness, at least to a degree. You may have a minimally wounded heart, in need of some forgiveness, but it is not imperative if you wish to be emotionally free from the effects of injustices toward you. If you scored between 41 and 63, you are still somewhat low in forgiving but obviously are getting closer to a psychological state that is not as angry and therefore perhaps not as vulnerable. The midpoint of the scale is 63, so anything below this shows that you can improve your forgiveness response if you are motivated to enter the process. Our degree of forgiveness varies depending on who hurt us and when the incident occurred.

Forgiving yourself helps you move forward with the intention of becoming a better version of yourself. Self-forgiveness in recovery doesn’t mean you aren’t taking responsibility for the harm you’ve inflicted on others. The best way to move forward is to acknowledge your actions and impact and then move forward with mindfulness.

Don’t wait for others to forgive you first

We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.

Understand that making mistakes that you feel guilty about does not make you a bad person or undermine your intrinsic value. Everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to learn from these errors, let go, move on, and forgive yourself is important for mental health and well-being. Discovery why self-forgiveness can be beneficial and explore some steps that may help you learn how to forgive yourself.